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Did you see the falling bombs?

باز خوابِ جنگ ديدم. هواپيماها دونه-دونه مي‌اومدن و بمب بود که مي‌ريختن رو سرِ شهر، و ما منتظر بوديم که ببينيم کدوم قراره رو سرِمون بيفته. خاطره‌ي من از جنگ فقط بمبارونه و بس، و هميشه خوابِ همين رو هم مي‌بينم.
تو خواب‌ام تو حياط وايستاده بوديم. نفهميدم چرا نرفته بوديم تو پناهگاه. «پناه»گاه؟ واژه‌ي خنده‌داريه در اوضاع فعليِ ما، و گمون‌ام که ناخودآگاه‌ام اينو خوب فهميده!
ترس‌ اين خواب فجيع‌تر از چيزي بود که از بمبارون تو خاطرم مونده. ترس از مردن هم نبود، ترسِ از دست دادنِ همه چيز بود. ترس از نابودي بود. ترس از زنده موندن بود، بعد از افتادنِ بمب.

بيدار که شدم، يخ کرده بودم کاملاً. اومدم نشستم به انار دون کردن، و خوشحال بودم که بمب‌ها فقط خواب بوده.
حالا که بيدارم فکر مي‌کنم ناخودآگاهِ احمقي دارم و بيخودي ترسيده. ديگه چيزي وجود نداره که جنگ بتونه از ما بگيره و ترکيبِ جمهوري اسلامي با تحريم‌ها نتونه.
ديگه چيزي براي از دست دادن نمونده.

۲۴ نظر:

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